Cheap Way to Have a Wedding - Destination Wedding

I recently read an article describing the cost of a wedding and the impact it can have on your finances for the rest of your life.   It made me extremely glad that I had my wedding the way I did because it ended up being a lot more fun, much more memorable, and , believe it or not, much cheaper.   Don't believe me?  I've decided to lay bare exactly what I spent on the wedding just to demonstrate how one can save money by doing a destination wedding.   I didn't spend anywhere close to the average of $20,000 that the typical wedding costs today.A little bit of background.  My wife and I went to Capri, Italy to get married.  We wanted to go to Europe for the honeymoon and we wanted to get married with a beautiful view of the ocean.  Capri provided both of those.  We sent out about thirty invitations and we ended up with thirteen guest (two guest dropped at the last minute).  We only sent invitations to people we really wanted to go but even if we sent out much more I do not think our attendance would have been much higher than it was.  We spent a total of fifteen days in Europe.  We paid for our own wedding and honeymoon, neither of us asked for help from our parents.Here is a list of typical wedding costs

• Cost of the venue


• Ceremony officiant


• Flowers


• Cake


• Reception


• Wedding Attire (dress, tuxedo rental, etc)


• Entertainment (DJ or band)


• Photographer

This does not include all the little things that people end up paying for in a wedding like various gifts and decorations so cost can end up being much more than would appear on this list.  So how much did I actually spend on the wedding?  My official number is $3885.  This includes

• Photographer - $1600


• Reception Dinner - $1700


• Flowers - $45


• Driver - $225


• Her Dress - $180


• Her Shoes - $70


• Wedding Invitations - $45


• Various snacks for guests - $20

I did not however include some other cost that might normally be associated with the cost of the wedding.  Most of these things are not specific to the wedding itself.  Things like my suit and shoes, (which I have used for other things) and our hotel room (which we would have spent anyway since we would have to pay for it anyway on our honeymoon).  However, I will list these items just in case people want a full comparison.

• Flight to Italy - $1500


• My suit and shoes - $700


• Hotel Room - $925

So that at the outside put the total cost of my wedding at $7010.  That's it.  Things I did not spend any money on included

• Venue - Hotel let us use their balcony, and it's amazing view, for free


• Officiant - It was hard to coordinate an officiant in Italy so one of our guests volunteered to do the ceremony


• Cake - Didn't have one


• Entertainment - Didn't have a huge reception so didn't have to provide entertainment

Despite "doing without" on some of these things, I have to say it was one of the best weddings I ever went to (I am admittedly biased).  The food was amazing.  We went to the best restaurant on the island and it was better than any Wedding food I had ever had.  Heck, it was better than any food I have had period.  The venue was breathtaking, see the picture above.  I honestly could not have had a better time at my own wedding.  I often hear people talk about how they just never get enough time to talk to their guests.  That definitely did not happen to me as I felt I had ample time to talk to each and everyone of my guests.  I did not waste any money on things that just did not make the wedding more memorable or directly added value to myself or my guests.To sum up.  Had a great wedding.  Didn't spend a lot for it.  Couldn't ask for anything more.Don't mortgage your future for one day.

Joined iPhone Nation

This week, I got an iPhone 3Gs.  I actually got it through work, they replaced my Blackjack.  Although I have never felt compelled to get an Iphone, I was still interested in what all the hype was.   The people I know who have one swear by them.  My wife always jokes how I'm addicted to the internet and so the thought of having a device like the iPhone at my fingertips was appealing to me.  It probably was not as appealing to my wife.

A few days in and I have to say that I have mixed feelings.  It definitely is a great device.  It is easy to use and extremely useful.  the App Store is fantastic and you really can find an App that does pretty much whatever you want.   I've mostly used it to keep up to date on my e-mail and to do things like check the traffic or sports scores.  I could do the same thing with the Blackjack but it is easier to do with the iPhone as there are built in apps to go and get that data.

But I'm struggling with the iPhone on several fronts.  The  biggest problems I have come across

• The battery life is just poor.  If I don't charge it overnight, the thing will be dead by the next morning


• The network is slow.  Probably more a problem with AT&T but it is still kind of annoying


• I hate that it doesn't multi-task.


• Typing things in is a pain in the ass.  I am constantly typing things wrong.  This thing needs a real keyboard.


• I can't tether it to my laptop without jumping through some hoops


• The e-mail client my work uses is actually better on the Blackjack.  On the iPhone it doesn't automatically download new messages.

I think Apple hit their target market.  It is a great consumer device.  It is just a bad device for work.  I'm probably happier with this device than the Blackjack but only because it makes my personal life a little better.  Ironically, my wife, who probably won't like me being glued to it while we are out, is now hooked on one of the iPhone games.  She is literally playing it right now and completely ignoring me.

On a similar note, is it just me or is the iPad kind of a disappointment?  Seriously, what problem is this trying to solve?

Charles Schwab Review

I decided to open up an account with Charles Schwab.  After getting married, my wife and I needed to setup a joint account.  We have split our finances for a while now, and marriage has not changed that, but we wanted the convenience of having one joint account.

Setting up the account has not been the best experience.  For whatever reason, Schwab seems to not have come into the 21st century.  It was possible to setup a brokerage account online but it was not possible to set up a checking account online.  This required that I physically print out an application.  I thought I would be able to walk it into a Schwab branch and open an account right away.  There was a branch just down the street so this is what I decided to do.  However, all that did for me was save me some postage.  I guess the branch couldn't setup the bank account either, so they mailed my application to some central location.   They told me they would call me that day to tell me the brokerage account was opened.

No call came that day.  They cashed the check that I used to fund the account and yet still no call.  I called to check what had happened and was told that the account was opened and someone must have just forgotten to call.  OK, no problem.  The next step was to wait for the information on my bank account.  I waited and waited.  I waited two and a half weeks and heard nothing.  So I called again.  It turns out that the person who entered the information failed to enter the apartment number.  So my checks and my bank card seemed to be lost in the mail.  I was told to wait a few more days and it should show up.  The checks did eventually make their way to me, but no card.  I had no means to use an ATM and withdraw any money.

After a few more days, my wife called in.  The first person I spoke to did not seem to fix the missing apartment information.  Customer Support said they fixed the information and the cards would be coming.  A few days passed and my wife's new card did indeed come.  My card did not.  So she called again.  It turns out that for whatever reason, my information was not updated until later and a new card was not sent out at the same time.

So here I am.  It is the end of January and it has been over one month since I started this process.  I still have no bank card from Schwab.  On the plus side, the customer support, in terms of wait time, has been pretty good.  Each time I call, I get connected to a human right away.  But I am disappointed by the fact that I have had to call so many times to find out how good the response time is.  I have not used their services too much as of yet, I've bought no stock through the brokerage account as of yet, because I don't want to move money into the account until I have full access to it, so I can't say too much about the other features of the account.

One last annoying thing.  Setting up money transfers is a real pain in the ass.  Once again, Schwab has not come into the 21st century.  The only way I've been able to fund the account is to "push" the money there.  That is, i go to my other online accounts and setup a transfer from them to Schwab.  Schwab makes it VERY difficult to "pull" money from other institutions.  It is impossible to do this online.

So given all my problems, I can't strongly recommend Schwab.  I really like their customer service but that's about it.  I don't think any of this will cause me to close my account, but I'm somewhat disappointed that things just haven't been smoother.

Sorry Gone So Long

I've been quiet over the last several weeks.  I've been wanting to blog but with the holidays I have found it difficult to sit down and focus on what to write.  I really haven't had anything meaningful to say either.

The holiday's came and went.  It was a rather quiet holiday.  I did not have to do too much shopping and work was rather subdued since most of the staff was out.  I try to make some headway with my reviews but somehow found a way to not get very far on those.

That is my challenge for the upcoming week.  I have to get through my employees reviews.  I once again find myself doing way more reviews than I want.  I think it is important to do a good job with them, so I'll get them done right, but I often just wish I could wave a wand and have them done.  The tool my work is using even has something similar to this but I feel it is a cheap way out so I refuse to use it.

I have been EXTREMELY quiet when it comes to my trading activity.  I really just don't know where this rally came from and now have no desire to get in at these levels.  I've waited for the pull back that never came and it looks like i missed out on some really great gains.  Lesson learned but no need to compound my mistake by doing something foolish now.  I'm looking carefully where to invest.  I recently opened up a new brokerage account, separate than my other one, so that my wife and I could invest together.  I opened it up at Schwab, so now I have accounts at most of the major brokerage houses.  I'll give a review of them shortly.

So I'm back.  Hopefully I won't take a hiatus as long as this one again.

Moving to California - Two Years Later

I recently got a message from this blog asking me if, two years later, I thought it was worth it to move back to California.

Before I get into this, I have to say it did not really occur to me that I have been back in California for two years until I got this e-mail.  I knew the two year anniversary of my job was coming up but it did not really sink in how long it has been until I got the message.  The past two years have been such a blur and it seems hard to believe I have been at this job longer than I was at Microsoft.  Maybe that says more about the job I have now compared to the one I had before.

Now on to the question.  Was it worth it to move back to California from Washington?  Ironically I answer this question the same day that it was pouring rain in Los Angeles.  But this makes my answer to this all the more certain.  Yes, it was absolutely to move back to California from Washington.

I was thinking about this as I rode the elevator to work.  I am in a very high skyscraper and the elevator has a television in it that I find myself catching news clips as I enter and leave the building.  On the ride down today, the news had "Storm Watch" flashing on the screen.  Now, after living in Washington for two years, I can tell you.  The rain wasn't all that severe.  It came down hard, but it would be a pretty normal day in Seattle.  The reason this made me think of how good I have it is because weather like this is so unusual we make a big deal about it here.  This is the first time it has rained in the last several months.  Think about that for a second.  It is December and it probably hasn't rained of any significance in several months.   I actually can't even remember the last time it rained. You can't buy weather like that.

Of course, that is not the only reason I am glad to move back to California (but it is a big part).  I'm happier with my job and I am glad to be around family and friends.  My wife is happier (weather affects her more than it does me) so that makes my life better.  So if I had to do it all over again, I would do it in a heartbeat.

But I caution anybody from taking my experience and translating it to your own.  My situation is unique in many ways.  First off, I grew up here.  The culture and lifestyle just really work for me since I grew up here.  Moreover, I have a base of friends and family here.  Moving out here, not knowing anyone, can be really difficult. I find it easy to make and meet new friends but this is not true for everyone and California can be a lonely place if you don't have any friends or family.  But perhaps the biggest deterrent to moving out here has to be the money.  Can you make it work?  Moving to California with no money is not an easy tasks.  It is not easy even if you have money.  Housing is expensive and taxes will take whatever you have left.

My situation is likely not the same as yours.  I make very good money and I live very frugally.  While I certainly "miss" the money that California extracts from me, I probably will not miss it as much as those who live paycheck to paycheck.   The cost of living does not affect me nearly as much as it would other people.  And make no mistake about it, California has a high cost of living.  You combine that with our high unemployment rate and (still) high housing prices, and it can be a daunting financial burden.  This has gotten so bad, I have written how I think the California Dream is vanishing for many, even myself.

So while I have no regrets about moving back here this is not to say I won't once again leave.  High taxes and high housing is driving me away, I'm sure it will drive others as well.  In fact, I had such a conversation with someone about this on Saturday.  But I'll write about that in my next blog.

Italy Trip - Sorrento Day 2

On the first night in Italy, we slept.  I think we slept a total of 12 hours.  Liz was getting over some sort of bug and we were tired from the long journey.  Because we went to bed really early it did not prevent us from getting up bright and early the next day.  This is something we have tried to do consistently throughout the trip because I wanted to take as many pictures as possible and the best time to take landscape pictures is first thing in the morning. Unfortunately for me, the day ended up being pretty cloudy in the morning, but I made do with what I had.

One of the odd things about Southern Italy in general is the preponderance of dogs just walking the street.  I am not sure if Italy just does not have the same amount of animal control as the States do but the loose dogs on the street was quite noticeable.



The golden dog pictured above became our guide in Sorrento.  He seemed determined to show us the sites and followed us wherever we were going.  It was early, and the streets were empty (another advantage of taking pictures really early in the morning) so he probably had nothing better to do.  He eventually guided us down to the coast where I was able to get some good pictures of Sorrento early in the morning.



After the hard day of traveling the day before, it was very serene to be on the Sorrento Coast with nobody else around.  After walking around the city in the early morning, our next stop was to make it to Pompeii and see the ruins.   This was supposedly a short train ride from the Sorrento Train station but like most things in Italy, my wife and I found a way to make it difficult.

On the train, called the Circumvesuviana, has two stops marked for Pompeii, Pompeii and Pompeii Scavi. For those who do not know anything, Pompeii seems to be the right one. But for those who know Itallian, Scavi means "dig". So Pompeii Scavi is the right stop if you wish to go see the ruins of Pompeii. It is also the easier stop to get to as there is no transfer while there is a transfer of trains to get to Pompeii.

My wife and I were in the last train car and were confused about which one to get off on. We guessed "Pompeii" and as it turns out we were wrong. Only one person in our car got up to exit the train at the Pompeii Scavi stop so we figured we were OK. But when the doors closed we saw a throng of (excuse me for being racist here) white tourists who had exited the train and heading toward the site. We quickly looked up "scavi" in our dictionary to find out what it means and quickly determined we had missed our stop. To compound the situation, the train heading in the direction back passed us on the way to the next stop meaning we had to wait even longer for it. When we got off on the next station it was clear we had made a mistake. We were the only ones to get off the train, clearly not something that would have happened at a major tourist site. On the bright side, my wife and I will always remember that "scavi" is the Italian word for dig.

When we finally made it to Pompeii Scavi, the ruins were right outside of the small train station. The site is huge. It is hard to imagine a whole city like that being buried by a Volcano only to be dug up later by a bunch of archaeologists.



While I think it was an interesting place to go I think I was somewhat disappointed by the whole thing.  For me, the ruins start to blend into each other after a while.  One pile of rubble starts to look like the next pile of rubble.  What was even more disappointing was that all the best places to go were restricted to tourists by gates.  Below is a picture of a typical experience for us.



It is probably safe to say that a third of the places listed on the audio guide were closed off to the public.  It is probably equally safe to say that all of the best and most interesting places were gated off.  It became increasingly frustrating that the audio guide would tell you to walk through a doorway and see a beautiful fresco painting only to be met by a locked gate.  Even worse when you could not walk into the site in the first place.   Since there were so many places that were closed, we were able to walk around the whole of the Pompeii site in a matter of about three or four hours.   Our luck being what it was with the trains, we saw the train back to Sorrento pull out in front of us so had to wait for the next one.

That night, we went to another out of the way restaurant.  I had the calzone, she had the spaghetti with clams.  They were both excellent.  It was seriously the best calzone I had ever had.  The crust of the calzone was excellent and the cheese was just superb.  We were also given some of the local champagne, prosecco which ended up being pretty tasty.  Thus far we were pretty impressed with the food we had been served in Italy.  And this was only the beginning of the trip.

Italy Trip - Sorrento Day 1

We decided to get to Italy a few days before the wedding to set some things ups.  We wanted to check out the hotel, find a place for the reception, get a bouquet, and settle a little bit before the wedding.  Our original plan was to spend the night in the city we landed in, Naples, and eventually make it to where we got married, Capri.

After doing some research and reading we decided against that plan.  Everything we read about Naples was umm ... interesting.  All the guidebooks warned tourists that Naples could be dangerous.  They made it sound as if thieves were around every corner and the mafia was just waiting to shoot you in the street.  So we passed on Naples and went to the other town with an easy ferry to Capri, Sorrento.

We booked through Expedia a small little hotel called Hotel Sorrento City.  Picture below.



As it turns out, it was a great location, right on the main drag in Sorrento.   One of the disadvantages of taking a long trip is that you spend a lot of money on lodging simply because you have so many nights to account for.  My wife and I have decided to stay at relatively modest hotels to save some money and because we are not really fancy people anyway.  We only require a safe location, clean room, modest bed, and a nice hot shower.  Most other problems we can deal with.

Hotel Sorrento City satisfied these conditions so it was adequate.   But it was not more than that.  The room was definitely small but not that small when you compare it to the European standard.  It was somewhat odd that there were built in pull down beds on the side of the wall but I guess that could be convenient for some.  I wish there was free internet access but there wasn't.  I wish there was wi-fi but there wasn't.  Just a small little pay station in the lobby.  The breakfast that was provided was pretty good though.  My wife really liked the coffee out of the coffee machine but she has liked all the coffee that we have had since coming to Italy.

Sorrento itself was a very nice city.  Our very first stop was to the center square to catch a bite to eat.  Right in the middle of the main square was a place called Fauno Bar.



It seemed to be a typical Italian outdoor cafe but bigger.  There were lots of people there, and that is usually a sign of an OK place to go, so we asked for a table.   I had the cannelloni, my wife had the gnocci.  It was seriously some of the best Italian food we had up until that point.  The pasta was clearly fresh and the cheese was very tasty.  Part of it was that I was pretty hungry by this point but the other part of it was that Italian food is just better in Italy.  Go figure.

One of the odd things we noticed while we were eating was that we were THE ONLY people who ordered food.  I'm going to write more on this later but it seems that Italians eat really really late.  Dinner doesn't start until 7:30, and in some places 8:30.   After dinner we were wiped out from the trip so we went back to the hotel and just fell asleep.  That concluded our first day.

Italy Trip - Getting There

 

OK, I'm finally back blogging.  I'm still in Italy but I finally have some time to sit down and blog a little bit.  My intention was to blog along the way but there was a little hiccup with that plan.  Internet access has been spotty and I was way busier with wedding stuff than I thought I would be.  I'm going to try and catch up in the next few days but we will see.  I have a week left to go in my vacation and the second half is probably as jammed packed as the first.

Getting to Italy was an adventure by itself.  We had booked a flight to Naples Italy with stops in Seattle and in Paris.  The stop in Seattle was fortuitous because I got to visit Rick and make a stop at one of my old favorites Sushi Land.  Great to see Rick, not so great to go to Sushi Land.  Maybe I've been away too long or maybe something has really changed, but it just wasn't like I remembered it.  The pieces were smaller and the fish not as fresh.  Oh well.  After stuffing myself with fish and saying goodbye to Rick, we were on our way to Paris.  It was a lovely twelve hour flight.  I slept some and then watched The Hangover on the plane.  I'm usually not a fan of these types of movie but perhaps my low expectations and my being trapped on a plane with no choices made it entertaining. 

After departing this flight, this is where the fun really began.  All I have to say is the Paris airport probably needs to be rethought.  I had two hours to get to my connecting flight.  I barely made it.  First, I had to walk what seemed like an eternity to Passport Control.  I walked so long I seriously thought they were going to make me walk the rest of the way to Italy.  After getting through Passport Control, I had to walk again through security.  This was very odd to me.  Security in Paris was odd.  They asked for our passports (not odd) but then made me empty out my camera bag.  Then they stopped my (then) fiancee and checked all her stuff again.  Then they asked for her passport again.  So now she has had her passport asked for three different times. 

By this time, we are cutting it pretty close to the time.  But my fiancee is extremely hungry and thirsty so she needs to stop for some food and water.  As we approach the gate she stops at a small cafe.  I can see our plane boarding and I'm worried because we have quite a bit of carry on and I want to be sure I can get a spot.  She gets her food and water and we rush to the plane only to be once again be asked for our passport!  This is now four times since coming into Paris that she has had to produce her passport.

When we finally reach Italy we land in an airport where there they make you exit onto the runway before reaching the terminal.  Just outside is a bus waiting to take us to the terminal.  So we board the bus and, I'm not exaggerating, the bus drives 20 yards to the terminal.  It was kind of crazy.  We wait for our bags, which comes really fast, and then look for some sort of official looking person to either ask us about our bags or to check our passports.  Neither happens.  When you compare that to the Paris experience you can see why we were quite confused.

At this point, my fiancee is pretty ill and is in no mood to get on a bus for an hour.  So we sit in the Naples airport with all of our stuff for about two hours until she feels well enough to get on the bus.   She is not getting much better but time is running out for us to get to where we need so she muscles up some courage and we get on the bus run by CURRERI Viaggi .  It is a private company who specializes in making the trip between Sorrento and Naples.  However, hen we get to the bus, the driver tells us he can not take us all the way to Sorrento, he can only take us part of the way.  There is some stupid bike event or something blocking all the roads to Sorrento.  Seriously, they stop all the traffic going into a city for one stupid event?  What am I getting myself into?  Looking back, I kind of doubt they did; I think the bus driver was just being lazy and not wanting to drive us the whole way (we were the only people on the bus). 

The driver drops us off at a train station, the Circumvesuviana, close to Sorrento but still a 15 minute ride.  Here we are, tired and weary from our long drop, and still needing to slog through the local train to get where we need to be.  To make matters worse, we have no idea where the hotel is as soon as we get there.  It could be on the other side of town for all we know.  When we finally arrive Sorrento much to our delight, the hotel is just minutes away from the station.  We were REALLY lucky because most of the hotels are not that close.  Most of them are quite far away.  We get to our hotel room, which is quite small but typical of European hotels, and just finally relax.  We shower and then go get a quick bite to eat in town (the above picture is of the main Sorrento square).  More of Sorrento in the next post. 

All of this reminded me of why I really hate to travel sometimes.  It wears on you.  Things are never as easy as they should be and you are usually not as comfortable as you are at home.  This is magnified when you are in a foreign country where you don't really speak the language.  All in all, it was an ordeal to get to Italy (and every time we have had to move) but so far, a great trip.  More on that in the next post.

Where Have I Been?

It's been about a dozen days since my last post.  In the two years since I've started this blog I've probably never gone more than 4 or 5 days without a post.   I try to stay pretty consistent, even if it is only a quick post, but I just haven't been able to lately because I've been too busy.

You see, I'm getting married in a week.  To make matters worse, I've been in the middle of finalizing a huge platform change for my company.   This has left little time for anything other than work and planning for my 2.5 week trip to Italy.  Since I'll be gone for several weeks, and I will not be following current events or work,  the topic of my posts will be quite different.  So instead, for the next several weeks, I plan on blogging about my wedding and my trip.   Hopefully I will have some good pictures and some good experiences to share with everybody here.  So if you are interested in my travels, stay tuned.  Otherwise, see you all back here in about 3 weeks.

Cheap Flight - Too Good to be True?

I am trying to plan out my vacation to Italy.  One of the hard parts about the trip is that we want to go from Southern Italy to Northern Italy.  Taking a train could take several hours and sitting in a train is not my idea of a fun vacation.  So we decided to look online to see if there were any cheap flights from Naples to Italy.  I figured there might be some sort of deal like Southwest Airlines which offers really cheap flights within California.

So I went to Expedia to search for a deal.  I was not really expecting anything really cheap but figured it was at least worth a search.  What I found I still can't quite believe.  I bought two tickets from Naples to Italy for $67.  That is not $67 each.  That is $67 TOTAL.  What seems even odder is that the taxes and fees for the flight are $65.  That means the tickets were $1 each!  The tickets are from what seem to be a reputable airline, Meridiana, so I'm at a loss to understand how a flight can be so cheap.  To compare, every other flight listed on Expedia with other carriers were for $330 each.

So what do you think?  Am I going to show up at the airport only to fly I'm going to fly in the luggage compartment?

How To Buy a Suit

I have spent the last several weeks looking for a suit.  This is not just any suit, this is the suit I am going to wear for my wedding. So I wanted to get the absolute best suit I could without spending an arm and a leg.  Boy did I not realize what I was getting myself into.

First off, let me reiterate advice I often give on this blog when it comes to buying big ticket items.  Always buy the best you can afford.  No more, no less.  If you buy something cheap, you will regret that you did not buy the nicer item.  If you overspend, you will suffer buyer's remorse.  To that end, I set my suit budget to be between $600 and $1200.  I have not been in the market for a suit recently, so I wasn't sure what I would find in that price range or if this was too high or too low.

This price range ends up being in the upper middle portion for most suits.  Think Nordstrom and Saks not Macy's or Penny's.  The upper echelon of suits usually run $2000+ with many getting in the $5000+ range.  I had no intention of buying anything close to that unless it was made of gold.   Anything cheaper, in the $200-$300 range, looked fine at first but close inspection and actually wearing the suit revealed significant drawbacks.  So I was happy with the general price I was aiming for.

Who knew that having this budget in mind could be such a problem.   The first problem you run into with suits is that there really are hundreds of options, styles, and differences between each suit.  It is not like buying a TV where you can narrow it down to a few models from a few stores.  It is as if each and every store has its own set of suits.  The selection of suits was different from stores of the same retailer right down the street from each other!  One store may carry Hugo Boss, the other one would not.  If they both did carry Hugo Boss, they would for sure have different models.

What made the whole situation worse was my "unusual" body shape.  You see, I'm actually in shape.  This means I am thin and have broad shoulders, a wide chest, and a narrow mid-section.  This gives me a suit size of 38, but that is over-simplifying the problem.  It is hard enough finding a 38 in a suit because most men in the United States are not as trim as I am.  There are just not a lot of size 38 suits made. But when you throw in the fact that I have a wide chest and broad shoulders you can be certain that nothing is going to fit quite right.

There are four things you have to look for in a suit to make sure it properly fits (listed in order of importance)

• The shoulders are in their proper place


• You do not get any stress marks in the back of the suit (between the shoulder blades) indicating the jacket is too small or too big


• The lapel does not pop up but lies flat against the chest


• The sleeves are of the right length

The problem for me always lies in either the first or third bullet point.  Size 38 suits are usually too narrow in the chest meaning the lapel does not lay flat.  Size 40 suits are too broad in the shoulder meaning I do not get a proper fit up top.  You want to get a suit that fits as perfectly off the rack as possible because you want as little tailoring done to the suit as you can get.  I went to just about every possible store in Southern California looking for suits.  The list included:

• Five Nordstrom's


• Two Sak's Fifth Avenue


• One Niemen Marcus


• Four Bloomingdale's


• Ten Macy's


• Two Men's Warehouses


• Two 3-day suit Brokers


• Nine different Malls

And I did not find a suit that worked until I went to a Nordstrom Rack.  But more on that in a second.  From the list of stores I visited, you can clearly see that this was not an easy task.  I tried on suit after suit.  In each store I probably tried on a minimum of 2 or 3 suits and in a few I tried on as many as a dozen.  I tried on so many that I feel somewhat like an expert in suits.   My problem was compounded because I had particular needs.  I needed the suit to be either black or dark gray, not navy, since this was the suit for my wedding.  So given all this, it was a near impossible tasks to find a suit.

So how did I finally find the right suit?  It was a war of attrition.   I had to narrow it down to what I did not want before I found what I want.  Brands that simply did not work for me because of my body shape ended up being

• Hugo Boss


• Calvin Kline


• DKNY


• BCBG


• Alfani


• Joseph Abboud


• Paul Smith


• Dolce and Gabana


• Versace

The mistake I made was to keep trying on brands that just did not work for me in hopes that I would find a suit from that manufacturer that would suddenly work. I can not tell you how many Hugo Boss suits I tried on before I finally realized it was a futile exercise. The most ironic thing was that I got this bit of advice at the second store I went to (it was a Bloomingdale's) by a very helpful salesperson.  He told me that the only suits that were going to work for me were by either Zegna or by Canali.  He showed me a Zegna but did not have a Canali to show me.  He said he would only sell me a Zegna and that if I did not like what he had on stock that I should go find a suit made by one of those tailors at another store.  This was very wise advice (as you will see in a minute) and leads me to my first and most important bit of advice.  If you find a salesperson who is knowledgeable, helpful, and puts your interests ahead of his own.  Buy your suit from him.  I probably could have saved myself a big headache if I would have just taken his advice to heart because I found the only suits that worked for me were

• Canali


• Zegna


• Armani

Notice these are all Italian made suits. It seems I should have been European and not American because I only fit into clothes made in Europe.  This is exactly what the salesperson told me would happen and it took me trying on dozens of suits before I finally reached the same conclusion he gave to me at the very beginning.  My body type would only work in one of these suits.

Now the problem with this advice is that these suits are all very expensive.  While I could afford some of them in my price range, they were at the upper end of my price range.  All else being equal, I would have liked to spend at the bottom of the range simply because I do not wear suits too often.  Did I really want to spend $1200 on a suit that I would only wear a few times in my life?   The problem was, as soon as I found out what a good suit is supposed to look like and how it is supposed to fit, I could not let myself buy a suit that did not look nor fit properly.  Before today, I found exactly two suits that would work but they were both above $1000 and one of them was above my budget at $1295.  So what was I to do?

Ironically, I decided to listen to my own advice and go back to that original salesman despite the fact that his store was about one hour away.  I was willing to spend the money and buy the suit from a man I trusted.  It became ironic because I ended up not buying my suit from him, I didn't even see him, but from a store I would have never gone to if I were not have decided to go back down to see him.  My fiancee suggested I go to the Nordstrom Rack and take a look at the suits there.  I had been to other Nordstrom Racks and not been impressed with their selection.  But the one I went to was different.  It was probably the "nicest" Nordstrom Rack around because it was next to fanciest mall we have in Southern California.  The selection of suits was actually quite large and the discounts were substantial.

I ended up getting a fantastic black Canali suit.  It was the best fitting suit I had come across yet and, being at a Nordstrom Rack, it was the lowest price I had seen for a designer Italian Suit.  It was 70% off of MSRP came in at the low end of my budget at $600.  It was such a fantastic deal that I bought it on the spot without thinking too much about it.  Just to be sure, I checked another Nordstrom Rack in the area and there was not nearly the same selection.  Once again, two stores, just down the road from each other, and not nearly the same suits.

Once again, my patience in shopping paid off.  I was about to give in and just pay full retail for a suit that actually met my needs but ended up getting an even better suit for a lot less than I would have paid.  I love a great deal!

Technology Expert?

Many of my friends would consider me a technology expert.  If there is a problem with a computer or some sort of gadget, I'm usually one of the first people my friends call.  So what I'm about to write is pretty embarassing.

Tonight I went jogging.  When I go running, I like to listen to music.  Being too cheap to buy another mp3 player (my fiancee uses the one I have), I use the mp3 playing functionality of my phone.  It runs Windows Mobile on it and thus has a Windows Media Player.  The phone has a micro-sd slot in it, so I can load the card up with music and play it on the phone.  Since my phone is bluetooth capable, it has the added benefit that I can match it up with bluetooth headphones and not have to deal with any wires.

So when I started on my run today, much to my dismay, there was no sound.  I struggled for several minutes trying to figure it out.  I adjusted the volume on the headset itself.  No good.  I turned up the volume on Windows Media Player.  No luck.  I searched in all the options and menus to see if there was some mute setting.  No go.  Then my mom called.  And the phone had sound.  The phone rang and I could hear my mom's voice through the phone.  WTF?  I tried running the music without the headphones, it normally will play through my phone's built in speaker.  Still nothing.  Now I was confused.  I tried one more thing.  My fiancee's ringtone is a song.  I knew the song wouldn't play on Windows Media, but what if she called me?  Would it play the ringtone like it was all the standard rings?  Sure enough it did!

So seriously, what the hell was going on.  It seemed that my Windows Mobile device had all the sounds working except for Windows Media Player.  I could take calls and hear the phone ring but that was it.

It turns out there is one more volume control (making a total of three) that I had to adjust.  The headset itself has a volume control and it was turned way down.  This is the main volume control for the entire phone.  It is so important, it has its own stupid control on the side of the phone.  I can not explain how absolutely stupid I felt when I figured this out.

I Know I Have Not Made It

It has been hot in California the last few weeks.  It has been in the 100's in some areas.  High 90's in the others.

If you are like me, you are not able to sleep at night if it is too hot.  Lucky for me, I have central air-conditioning.  My problem?  The air works much better in the living room than it does anywhere else.  Further, the temperature sensor is also in the living room.  So to get my bedroom cold at night would require that I put the temperature insanely low in the living room.  For someone like me who hates waste, this is not an acceptable solution.

Those who follow my blog know how I feel about the lower standard of living my generation now has compared to the previous generation.   It just does not make sense to me that someone with my combined household income has to make some of the trade offs that I have to make.  I am not really complaining about it, it is just the way life is.  But it is something I find particularly interesting.

Anyway, the reason I bring all of this up is that this "heated" situation just makes it all that more clear that I have not yet "made it".  To solve my hot night dilemma I have had to move my bed, or more accurate my mattress, into the living room.  I no longer have a living space, I have bed.  And to quote my fiancee, it just looks kind of "ghetto".  We are making the most of it.  In many respects we like it even better this way (we can now watch the big TV in bed).  But it just puts me in my place of how much farther I have to go to have a truly comfortable and un-comprising living situation.   A household that makes in the top 5% of the US has resorted to sleeping on a mattress, in the living room, on the floor.  But hey, at least I have the mattress.

Net Worth, Two Years Later

I was going through my computer the other day and found a spreadsheet I created almost exactly two years ago.  The spreadsheet contained the amount I held in various accounts at the time.  It was interesting to look back at how much I had and compare it to what I go today.

To give it a little bit of context, I'm going to compare it to the overall stock market.  It would be helpful if I could also throw in what has happened in housing since housing represents the vast majority of people's net worth in this country.  But housing is very hard to make a comparison to get a raw number from in terms of what it has done over the last two years.  It has for certain dropped, but still not as easy as just looking at a stock graph.  Using the S&P 500 as a benchmark I would say that it could be expected that most people would probably have less wealth than they would have two years ago.  The S&P 500 is down about 39% since June of 2007.  This even with the recent rally in the market.

Compared to this, I've done quite well. I am up  about 18% over that period of time.  Now before you think I'm some sort of stock guru, it is important to understand how I came by this number.

Net worth is the total cumulative value of all ones assets minus any liabilities.  My assets include more than just my stock portfolio.  It also includes the cash I have in the bank.  My net worth can, and does, grow in ways other than stock market gains.  For the most part, since income from this site is quite small, my net worth grows because I have a job and it pays me.   This is why I've been able to do as well as I have.

In looking at my net worth, my stock accounts have done as poorly as the market, worse in some cases.  My Roth, which has had no contributions from myself in the last two years, is down 40%. My other retirement account, my 401k, is down about 4%.  But keep in mind, I've contributed a lot of money into it over the past two years, so this stat is very misleading. If I took out my own contributions over the last two years I still handily beat the market down only 20%.  Most of that was because I have had the foresight to be in cash for a long time.  More on that in a second.

But even given this, I've done quite well.  How is this possible.  Same way I got the money in the first place.  I'm a very, very good saver.  Keep in mind, my savings two years ago was quite substantial.  Despite the ugly markets, I've been able to grow a rather large nest egg even larger by good old fashioned saving.  The cash I have on hand is quite large now.  This is partially why I have done so well why the market is bad.  I have been mostly in cash for the last several years.  It was one of those things that did not look so smart up until 2007.  In fact, it looked downright stupid as the market rallied.  But I stuck to my belief that the market was way overpriced.  I just could not understand how housing could have the run it had without a correction very very soon.  Lucky for me, it came .

So overall, I'm doing quite well over the past two years.  I actually used the chart to map out how soon I could retire given a few assumptions.  I'm a little bit off my target numbers for my current age but I'm in really great position given what the market has give us over the last two years.   However, I'm not so optimistic I can reach my original goals since much of what I calculated assumed average market returns over the next twenty years.  Honestly, I don't think that is going to happen.  I really think we are going to be in a very long economic downturn which will squash any sustained market rally.  Kind of gloomy huh?

Quality of Life - A Comparison to My Parents

In thinking about the current financial crisis and its causes I have come to the conclusion that much of this has been a generation in the making.  While people will point to the housing bubble of the last decade as the main culprit, I tend to think this problem started well before all of this.  We as a nation, and really as a world, are for the first time in modern history going to have a generation that will be worse off than the previous one.  This has led me to drop the moniker of Generation Y for my age group and instead call us Generation Screwed.  Our problems now come not from some one time event but because the generation that came before mine lived a lifestyle that was unsustainable in a world with global competition.  In trying to recreate that world, the subsequent generation overextended themselves to the point where things just snapped.

But rather than talk about things in a general or vague sense.  I decided to sit down and write about how things have gotten worse for this generation when compared to our parents.  Since I only have my life to compare it to I figured I would start there.  Before I begin a little background on both myself and my parents.

I am 31 years old.  I was born and raised in Southern California.  I was a smart kid, always did well in school, and attended an Ivy League college.  I now have an upper management position in a technology company and make a pretty good salary.  I am engaged to be married to a beautiful sweet girl who attended a good university and who also has a very good job.   Together, our combined salaries put us in the top few percent of all income earners.  We live, with our cat, in a small two bedroom apartment.  We both drive very modest cars, I have an eight year old Accord and she a four year old Corolla.  We would like to buy a house but have held off because prices are still too expensive.  We are frugal and save over half of our income.  I have a pretty sizable retirement nest egg, something I achieved by saving diligently.

My parents were married much earlier in life.  They both immigrated here as teenagers.  Neither of them went to college, my father just barely passed high school.  Growing up, my dad owned a small successful restaurant.  My mom worked for the city.  By the time they were my age, they had three children, including myself.  They owned their own four bedroom home (and would soon add a fifth bedroom) and almost had it fully paid off.  They had at least four cars that I can remember, including a Mercedes.  They never earned more than I do (even with adjusting for inflation).  Working for the city, my mom's retirement was on the way to being secured.  She retired at the age of 53 with 1/2 her salary being paid to her and benefits for the rest of her life.

Just reading the two backgrounds does it not sound like something is not quite right?  Mine is a fairly typical American story.  I come from a hard-working immigrant family.  They did well given their background and hoped for more for their children.  I would be considered a success because I got into a prestigious university and I have a high paying job (my only failure being I'm not a doctor).

Given the huge advantages and success I have had when compared to my parents, one would think I live a "better" life.  But look at some of the key facts.

• I don't own my own house and subsequently am nowhere near paying a mortgage off


• I don't have multiple cars or even cars of comparable stature


• In retirement, I'm on my own.  There is no pension waiting for me.  Further, while I may be able to retire earlier, most in my age group will retire, if they get to at all, in their 70's.


• I have no children while my parents had three at my age.  I can't imagine how further behind I would be on my financial goals if I were to have had three children by now.

The story would be even sadder if I had any debt.  Most of my generation does because of the high cost of college.  While neither of my parent's went to college, their siblings did.  My aunt tells me how she went to UCLA for just a few hundred dollars a year.  My how times have changed!

I tell my story because I find it to be very relevant to the problems we now face and because it illustrates why we are not going to get out of these problems any time soon.  While the housing bubble has precipitated the current problems, it was not the cause of what we are about to go through.  The generation before mine lived a very good life.  They lived in a world where the U.S. was the dominant economic force in the world.  It was a world where U.S. citizens did not face many economic challenges from the rest of the world.  High paying manufacturing jobs were not being shipped oversee.  There was little foreign competition for financial assets.  And the U.S. got fat off of cheap goods from around the globe.  That world is not coming back.   We tried to close our eyes to it.  It is why so many my age took out zero down payment loans with adjustable rate mortgages.  It was the only way to afford what our parents had before us.  (I think the zero down actually caused our financial problems, not the adjustable mortgages but that is a different post)

The world is a tougher place now.  I do not think this is a bad thing.  In fact, I think it is a pretty good thing.  Like all competition, there will be winners and losers.  Net, a rising tide lifts all boats and there will be more winners worldwide.  Notice I did not say the U.S. will be better off.  In fact, I expect there to be a leveling off for Americans.  We have had it so good for so long that the pendulum needs to swing the other way for us to reach equilibrium.

Simple Weddings - So Many Advantages

I went to two weddings recently.  While both were perfectly lovely, they both just reinforced in my head why I am glad I am not having a traditional wedding.

For those who do not know, I am doing a destination wedding.  My fiancee and I are going to go to Italy to get married.  This excludes a lot of people who might otherwise come to our wedding from coming to the wedding since the cost can be prohibitive.  While we would love everyone to come that we invited, we know that in reality, the number of people coming will be quite small.  But this has its own advantages.

The weddings I went to were very traditional weddings in churches.  There was a priest presiding over the wedding and he did most of the talking.  The bride and groom had very little to do during the whole thing other than saying, "I do".  In one of the weddings, even that did not happen because the bride and groom simply had to raise their right hand to affirm that they took their spouse.  The ceremonies lasted about 20-30 minutes each and the total time that involved the bride or groom lasted about 2 minutes.

In most traditional religious ceremonies that I have attended, the wedding is more focused on God than it is the couple.  I fully realize that I do not have the same relationship that others do with God but it always seem strange to me that the majority of the ceremony is focused on this rather general topic than the specific event at hand.

After the ceremonies were over, we did not get to speak to either the bride or groom very much.  This is the natural course of events as pictures must be taken and they have to greet literally hundreds of people.   I normally think of it as family time for the bride and groom, so I always feel uncomfortable taking too much of the married couples' time at any part of the day.

Going to these weddings makes me appreciate what I'm doing in my wedding all the more.  Not only will it be inexpensive for me to do what I'm planning to do but it will be much more personal.  It won't be religious at all, neither I nor my fiancee are religious, and it will be very focused on us.  I plan on writing my own vows and I think this will make it extremely personal for the people there.  Since there will be so few people there, and I know they are only there for the wedding, I plan on spending plenty of time with them.

There are the obvious other reasons why simple weddings are advantageous, the money I will save will be significant.  But I think I'm much more excited about the intimacy of the event more than anything else.  What do you think?  What do you like most about weddings?  What are some of the best weddings you ever went to and what made them so great?

Getting Out of Jury Duty

I had to go to Jury Duty today.  I went last week,  but was told to come back today to see if I was going to serve on a jury lasting sixty days.  There was probably about 80 or 90 other jurors there with me.  When the judge asked if anyone had any problems serving on the jury, the floodgates opened.

People came up with all sorts of excuses.  The case revolved around the plaintiffs alleging that they were subject to discrimination by the city of Los Angeles.  The list of excuses that people came up with to get out of this case included:

• projects at work


• vacations


• weddings (their own)


• being from Canada (but now a US citizen)


• having hemorrhoids


• a sick mother


• having someone saying something racial to them


• having a friend whose husband was a police officer

When it came my turn I felt a little guilty because this poor judge had to hear so many excuses.  I stuck with the plain and simple truth.  I told the judge I was not time qualified because my employer would not pay for more than ten days of jury service.

He convened with the lawyers on the case and released a dozen jurors, I being one of them.   This was probably less than 30% of the people who came up with some excuse.  I cannot imagine being a judge and having to hear this type of thing every day.

I Had to Open My Big Mouth

No more than 30 minutes after I wrote my last post and penned this,

Part of me hopes to just get called for a jury.  Might be more interesting than just sitting and waiting here with nothing to do.

I get called for a jury panel that might have to sit for a trial lasting sixty days.  I will not know until next Tuesday if I actually have to go and sit for this.  I doubt it, since I filled in my form incorrectly and said my employer would pay for jury duty indefinitely (they don't).  Oh well.  Just goes to show me that I have to shut up sometimes.

Thoughts From the Jury Assembly Room

I am sitting in a jury assembly right now waiting to see if I get put on a jury panel.  Although I dreaded coming in for jury duty, it really is not all that bad.

The worse part of it by far is the sitting and the waiting.  I had to be here at 7:45 a.m. (which is early for me) and since that time I have had to sit here and basically do nothing.  But it could easily be worse.  Lucky for me, they have Wi-Fi access in the jury room.  So I've been able to pull out my laptop and get a little surfing done.  I'm even able to do a little bit of blogging.

Of course, one can only surf so much before one gets bored out of his mind.  So while this is OK for now, I could not imagine having to do this for several days in a row.  Lucky for me, the Los Angeles County Court system has a one day, one trial policy.  That is, if you do not get called for a jury on your first day, you are done with your jury service.  Similarly, as soon as you serve for one trial, you are done with your service.  This is a big improvement over the previous system where people have told me they had to come in for two weeks in a row and just sit and do nothing.  That would suck.

The one thing that this experience is making me realize is that I am glad I have my job.  There are lots of job which are as interesting as sitting in a jury assembly room.  You do nothing all day but watch the paint dry or wait for someone to ask you a question.

Sitting and doing nothing is fine for someone like me to do for a day.  It actually can be a nice little break.  But if I had to do this day in and day out, it would drive me crazy.  Few people love their job.  I am not one of them. But I at least find it interesting and challenging on a regular basis.  There are days and even weeks which fly by and seem like almost no time has passed.  I cannot imagine that happening if every day my job was to sit and wait.

I still have at least two hours to go.  Part of me hopes to just get called for a jury.  Might be more interesting than just sitting and waiting here with nothing to do.

Should You Splurge?

This past weekend was my birthday. I turned 31. Being who I am, we did not do too much. I prefer to stay at home which makes it pretty easy to not spend too much money.  We got up in the morning and had homemade waffles.  Shortly after that I got to open up my birthday gift.  My fiancee got me a new tripod, the Manfrotto 190XDB, to go along with my camera.

We decided to go to the local arboretum to spend the day.  It was a beautiful California day.  It was actually to the point where I was sweating part way through.  It must have been in the 80's.  I got several good shots with my camera (no shots with the tripod unfortunately) and was ready to call it a day by 2:00 p.m.  I was dead tired, the sun will do that to you, so i was ready to go home and just plop on the couch.  I watched the NCAA tournament and waited to go to dinner at some mysterious location.

Well the location ended up being the Arroyo Chop House.  It is a high-end steak house, similar to Ruth Chris but probably better.  We had been there once before several years ago but I honestly did not remember too much about it.  This time what stood out was the excellent service they provided.  They knew ahead of time that it was my birthday. So they reserved a spot right next to the fireplace.  They even left a card on the table wishing me a happy birthday.  I thought that was a very nice touch.

I ordered what else, a steak.  She ordered a lobster tail.  The food was excellent, better than you can get at other places like Ruth Chris.  All told, the meal, with two glasses of wine, cost us $150.   Was it worth it?  It is hard to say.  Is it ever OK to spend $150 on one meal?  It is not something we do very often but it is sometimes nice to splurge.  We can afford it easily, so it is not like we have to stretch to make this work.   We probably only eat out like this two or three times a year, my birthday, her birthday, and on our anniversary.

So should we do this? I tend to think it can actually be important to splurge every once in awhile.  You cannot be frugal all the time and it is important to once in awhile enjoy the fruits of your labor.

What do you think? Are extravagances like this justified?