Double Journey

One of my favorite quotes is from John Wooden, the greatest college basketball coach of all time.  He said, “Don’t mistake activity for achievement”.  I think about this quote a lot when I evaluate myself and my employees.

Just the other day, I had to give some rather harsh feedback to one of my employees which led to that employee getting less responsibilities at work.  The employee was not too happy with this (although for many employees it would be great news since all it did was give this employee less work) but I knew it was the right thing to do.  The difficult part was that this employee works extremely hard.  If extra hours are needed, this employee puts them in.  So how do you tell someone who worked hard that their work just wasn’t good enough?

It was something I learned a long time ago in my own basketball experience.  Growing up, I spent hours practicing.  I would go to the local park and work on my jump shot until they turned off the lights.  But in the end, I just wasn’t as good as the other guys on the team.  While they didn’t practice as hard, they had more talent than I did.  The facts were that they didn’t need to work as hard as I did because their talent and natural gifts naturally made up for it.

Sure it wasn’t “fair” but when is life ever fair?  While I empathized with this employee, I have an entire organization to think about.  There was no way I could look past the fact that despite all the long hours and hard work this employee put in, they had not actually achieved the goals I had laid out for them.  I could not mistake their hard work for any actual accomplishment.

Have you ever been in this situation? One where you worked harder than anybody else but yet you couldn’t accomplish what you set out to do?  How did you handle it when you came up short?

My company’s holiday part was this weekend.  It was a fun event, I had a pretty good time.  There was food, entertainment, a lovely venue, and of course an open bar.  However, I myself did not take advantage of the latter because I have a hard rule which I always follow.  I NEVER drink around coworkers.

Now I’m not a heavy drinker anyway but I do enjoy having a few drinks occasionally as much as the next guy.  But if I am in a work setting where the majority of the people are my coworkers, I do not have a single drink.  Not one.  While it may sound uptight, I am following very logical reasoning.  There is absolutely no upside to drinking with coworkers yet there is huge downside.

Nobody thinks it is odd when I do not drink.  I usually just tell people I am driving so I don’t want to have anything.  This is true anyway so nobody thinks it is too odd.   But there is more to the story than just this.  I am making a very conscience choice not to drink so that I am viewed as someone who is always in complete control of myself.  To rise to the top, which is one of my goals, you have to be viewed as a leader.  Leaders are always in control.  Therefore you should not drink around those who make decisions about your career growth.

Now, I’m not saying that if you drink you can’t rise to the top.  That would be silly as I’m sure plenty of America’s CEO’s drink when around coworkers.  But I highly doubt anybody made it there because they drank and I bet more than one person has had his career derailed because of some foolish drunken mishaps at a work function.

I watched as a coworker and a friend of mine who had a little too much to drink made several off color remarks in front of the entire executive and management team.  Everybody was laughing, and I’m sure nothing bad will come from this.   He will not get reprimanded or anything even close, and he really should not be.  But will anything good come from this?  Do you think that when it comes time for promotions people won’t remember these types of situations and think someone less “colorful” would not make a better choice?

I recently got a message from this blog asking me if, two years later, I thought it was worth it to move back to California.

Before I get into this, I have to say it did not really occur to me that I have been back in California for two years until I got this e-mail.  I knew the two year anniversary of my job was coming up but it did not really sink in how long it has been until I got the message.  The past two years have been such a blur and it seems hard to believe I have been at this job longer than I was at Microsoft.  Maybe that says more about the job I have now compared to the one I had before.

Now on to the question.  Was it worth it to move back to California from Washington?  Ironically I answer this question the same day that it was pouring rain in Los Angeles.  But this makes my answer to this all the more certain.  Yes, it was absolutely to move back to California from Washington.

I was thinking about this as I rode the elevator to work.  I am in a very high skyscraper and the elevator has a television in it that I find myself catching news clips as I enter and leave the building.  On the ride down today, the news had “Storm Watch” flashing on the screen.  Now, after living in Washington for two years, I can tell you.  The rain wasn’t all that severe.  It came down hard, but it would be a pretty normal day in Seattle.  The reason this made me think of how good I have it is because weather like this is so unusual we make a big deal about it here.  This is the first time it has rained in the last several months.  Think about that for a second.  It is December and it probably hasn’t rained of any significance in several months.   I actually can’t even remember the last time it rained. You can’t buy weather like that.

Of course, that is not the only reason I am glad to move back to California (but it is a big part).  I’m happier with my job and I am glad to be around family and friends.  My wife is happier (weather affects her more than it does me) so that makes my life better.  So if I had to do it all over again, I would do it in a heartbeat.

But I caution anybody from taking my experience and translating it to your own.  My situation is unique in many ways.  First off, I grew up here.  The culture and lifestyle just really work for me since I grew up here.  Moreover, I have a base of friends and family here.  Moving out here, not knowing anyone, can be really difficult. I find it easy to make and meet new friends but this is not true for everyone and California can be a lonely place if you don’t have any friends or family.  But perhaps the biggest deterrent to moving out here has to be the money.  Can you make it work?  Moving to California with no money is not an easy tasks.  It is not easy even if you have money.  Housing is expensive and taxes will take whatever you have left.

My situation is likely not the same as yours.  I make very good money and I live very frugally.  While I certainly “miss” the money that California extracts from me, I probably will not miss it as much as those who live paycheck to paycheck.   The cost of living does not affect me nearly as much as it would other people.  And make no mistake about it, California has a high cost of living.  You combine that with our high unemployment rate and (still) high housing prices, and it can be a daunting financial burden.  This has gotten so bad, I have written how I think the California Dream is vanishing for many, even myself.

So while I have no regrets about moving back here this is not to say I won’t once again leave.  High taxes and high housing is driving me away, I’m sure it will drive others as well.  In fact, I had such a conversation with someone about this on Saturday.  But I’ll write about that in my next blog.

I was reading a book today that was talking about the keys to marriage success. One of the main pieces of advice was to communicate with your partner on a daily basis for several minutes on topics not including work, family, or household chores. According to this book, the couples who are the most successful are those that know each other intimately and this requires good communication on a constant basis.

This got me thinking about my own marriage. I tend to think I know my wife pretty well. We constantly talk about things and almost never talk about work, family, or chores (although she does nag me quite a bit J) But we don’t really “talk” in the traditional sense. During the week, I’m pretty busy at work. I’m running around to meetings all the time and would never have the time to call my wife in the middle of the day to talk. But the one thing that is contant throughout the day is that I’m tethered to my laptop. It goes with me everywhere except the bathroom.

This means my wife can get a hold of me pretty much at any time through Instant Messaging. I may not answer her right away but I do eventually get back to her. We normally don’t chat for very long, and the topics can be pretty random, but I get a pretty constant play by play of her day. If, for whatever reason, we are not chatting on IM I can probably she how her day is going via her status on facebook. While I don’t use facebook all that much, it is a constant stream for many people meaning your significant other can stay pretty connected to you throughout the day.

Technology is allowing people to stay connected in so many different ways and in time frames that are suitable in a variety of circumstances. While it is by no means a silver bullet for marriage, especially in an age where divorce is rampant, it can definitely help those who know how to use it and take advantage of its convenience. It has gotten to the point where I actually miss the communication I have with my wife throughout the day if for whatever reason we can’t chat.

How about you? Have you found your relationship strengthened with your significant other because of technology? If yes, how so?

Despite the fact I hate long lines and crowds, I have for the last few years gone shopping on Black Friday.  I go more to see what the crowds are like and what people are buying than I do to go shopping.  I do have one rule though; if I have to fight for parking, I’m turning around and going home.

That almost happened to me this year.  It would have been the first time in the past three years.  The crowds at my local Best Buy were pretty staggering.  Cars were crowding the parking lot making it almost impossible to find anything.  I knew of parking spots on a street running right next to the mall so I tried my luck there and had no problem.  Amazing to me that people would rather drive around a crowded parking lot for 20 minutes rather than to park and walk no more than fifty meters more.

What is even more amazing to me are the lengths that people will go to to get a “good” deal.  My wife went to the Best Buy on Tuesday to buy Super Mario Brothers Wii.  Already parked outside was a row of tents filled with people waiting to get the Thanksgiving doorbuster deals.  This was Tuesday afternoon.  Best Buy’s doorbusters were not available until 5:00 a.m. on Friday.  Many of these deals were available online so WTF?  Is it really worth it to waste three days of your life to save a few bucks on crap you probably don’t even need?

I’m convinced the only way to shop on Black Friday is to do what I did.  Sleep in and go sometime in the late morning.  Let all the crazies who want to be there as soon as the door opens get out of your way.  There are still some deals to be had later in the morning.  They may not be for crazy amounts off but those “deals” are usually pretty limited anyway and only useful if you don’t mind getting some random stuff.

Better yet, you are better off just shopping online.  Amazon had some of the best deals of any retailer, online or not, this weekend. I saw some crazy good deals on things I was actually interested in.  I didn’t buy anything from them but if I were gift shopping I don’t see why you would do anything otherwise.  My prediction is that in under seven years the days of waiting all night and rushing to physical stores to get the doorbusters will be pretty much dead.  Most people will just come to their senses and do their shopping online.  It is just easier to do and the deals are comparable if not better.

For the first time this year I actually ended up buying someting on Black Friday.  I had no intention of doing so but there was a one day sale at Nordstrom Rack on Seven Jeans.  Nordstrom rack usually sells the jeans 40%-50% off what you can get in the normal retail store but on Friday that added an extra 25% off.  Like I said, I was not looking to buy anything on Friday but since I was bound to buy another pair of jeans anyway in the next few months I figured I would just score the deal while I could.

I’ll be interested to see what the final sales numbers are this weekend.  My hunch is that traffic will definitely be up from last year.  It just seemed more crowded.  I’m just not sure people were actually spending more money.  How about you, did you go out or spend any money this weekend?

Living in California, and specifically Los Angeles, I know many people chasing their dreams of being in the entertainment business.  These dreams range from writing, acting, and of course becoming a famous musician.  The odds of becoming successful in any of these endeavors is minuscule but I think many of these people think if someone like Britney Spears can do it, why can’t they?

I had my own dreams growing up.  I wanted to be a professional basketball player.  For me, this dream ended long ago when it was clear I wouldn’t grow past six feet tall.  Needless to say, it has not been something that I have held on to. But for many people they continue to cling to their dreams despite severe financial hardship.  Most of these people cannot make a living chasing their dreams and this puts strains on themselves and their loved ones.

So what advice would you give someone chasing a nearly unobtainable dream?  I am not the type of person who would tell someone to stop chasing their dream.  I believe having dreams and refusing to give up on them are what make some of the greatest people great.  But I am also an extremely rational and practical person who believes at some point you have to take responsibility and get a real job.  In the specific case of my friend who made me think to write this post, he is currently out of work and she does not make enough to support the two of them.

I contrast this to my own current situation.  I have told my wife to go ahead and pursue her dreams.  She is going back to school with the hope of becoming an interior designer.  She will for sure make less money when she finishes school and there is the expense of actually putting her through school. But in the end I want her to do whatever makes her happy even if it doesn’t make any financial sense.  But of course our situation is different than our friend’s.  I make a very good living.  It is more than enough to cover our living expenses.  So her pursuing her dream has no deep financial impact on our family.

In general, I think the rules should be pretty simple.

• When you are single and only responsible for yourself, you can do whatever you want
• When you are in a serious relationship, pursue your dreams so long as it does not cause any financial strain (or resentment) on your relationship
• If children are involved, really time to put away impossible goals and buckle down.  Your children’s dreams are now your responsibility

At the end of the day, it really just boils down to your level of responsibility.  Like most things in life, the less responsibility you have, the more freedom you have to do what you want.  Family always comes first.

What do you think?  When do you stop chasing your dreams?  Have you ever known somebody who chased it too long and what did you do about it?

Just what we need.  Government oversight of a government organization who job is to give governmental oversight.  That doesn’t sound like a waste of money or a lot of bureaucracy.  I’m not saying I am in love with the Fed.  In fact I pretty much hate their monetary policy over the last decade.  By why have so many layers of bureaucracy.  Why not just scrap the whole thing and start over?

I was reading an article about people who failed to adjust their life after losing a job.  The article focuses on those who thought they could maintain their lifestyle because they got a severance check from their former employer and failed to realize that they might be unemployed longer than they expected.

It was hard for me to read the article because it is irksome to me to read about people who do not understand the reality of their situation.  It is especially bothersome to me to hear that people act this way in this country where most people have little or no money saved to deal with emergency situations.  Getting severance is a gift.  Few people have the “right” to a severance package.  Most employers provide them as a way to make all the parties involved feel a little better but they rarely if ever have to dispense generous severance packages.

I guess I just do not have a lot of sympathy for people in these situations.  I might if these people immediately cut their spending to the bare minimum to make their savings last as long as possible but none of these people did that.  They all decided to ignore the situation and continue to live as if nothing serious had happened.  I compare this to my own situation of life without a job.

I quit my Microsoft Job in September.  I was officially on payroll until the end of October but I stopped working at the end of September.  I simply used my vacation for that last month.  Despite the fact that I chose to leave, I had enough savings to last several years at my then rate of consumption, I still had a paycheck coming in, and my wife had a job that could cover all the bills, I started to immediately watch my money the day I gave notice.  Why?  I had no idea how long I would be out of a job.

My original idea was to take at least six months off.  That didn’t happen because I have a problem not working and the uncertainty drove me nuts.  But despite my very safe position it was just prudent to not spend money the same way as I had before.  I was more careful about anything I bought.  We ate out a lot less.  We canceled plans that would cost us too much money.  I then look at my wife’s position when we first moved to Washington.  She did not have a job lined up when we moved.  I made more than enough money to support the both of us but despite this she decided to get a retail job just to bring in some cash.  It wasn’t great work but it paid and she wanted to make sure she brought a little something home just to get used to the idea and not feel too “safe”.

Perhaps all of this was “easier” for me to do because I made a conscience choice to leave my job so I got to do it on my terms.  The psychology of it does not make much sense to me since I would think that having the situation forced on you would make the problem more immediate and urgent.  But I suppose there are those who would rather avoid the situation than tackle it head on.

I have written in another blog all the reasons why I hate our taxation system.  Taxing income is perhaps the most sinister way a government can collect taxes.  It is easy to hide the taxes and it can be manipulated it in so many ways to confuse you.  I ran straight into one of those today.

The Marriage Penalty is one of the most obvious ways this is true.  It is just absolutely stupid that your taxes should change whether you get married or if you stay single.  Of course, this is going to be true in any progressive income tax.  There is just no way to make a system that is completely tax neutral.  I tried to figure out what the best course of action for me to take on my taxes now that I am a married man.  I am a pretty smart guy and I’m pretty knowledgeable of finances.  But it seriously hurt my head to try and figure out what was going to happen to my tax situation now that I’m a married.  At the end of it I still didn’t understand what the heck was going to happen and I’m pretty sure I’m going to owe the government more money than if we had not gotten married.  I wish we could just have a nice simple tax system which was anything but a progressive income tax with a myriad of deductions.  Add that to the impending tax increases we are all about to face (which I’ll discuss in my next post) and you can understand how frustrated I am becoming with the whole thing.

Is it any wonder why I, and a few other people I know, are seriously considering moving to a state without income tax.  It is probably the one thing I miss about living in Washington state.  Although when it was 80 and sunny here today and rainy and 50 there, I only miss it so much.

Diverging from my Italy trip for a while because, well I’m back and I’m tired of writing about it.  I may pick it up again.  I may not.  I do have a crazy Rome Airport story.  Seriously, something out of a comedy movie.  But that may be left undocumented.

So only a quick post tonight.  I’m just getting back into the swing of the markets.  I had not made any trades in quite some time because of the wedding and the honeymoon.  I also just don’t think it is a good time to enter the market one way or the other.  I knew the market would probably trade sideways for a while and it has for the most part.  I was in no hurry to either go long or to go short the market.

So my question for all those out there today is, do you ever notice that your spending happens in bunches?  My credit card bill for the last two months is, as you might imagine, quite high.  But it is not just the wedding and honeymoon that is causing it.  I had to get new tires for my car.  The bill for my internet hosting came due.  I had two separate membership fees come due.  My wife had to register for classes this month.  And there were more things than that.

Now, lucky for me, I’m a good little saver and these random and volatile spurts of spending can easily be managed but I have noticed this happening to me in the past.  I wonder if this is really a phenomenon or you just happen to notice those medium size purchases a little bit more when you have had other large expenses to pay for?  How about it, do you ever notice that you spending fluctuates greatly and that you will just have one or two months a year where it seems everything comes due at the same time?